Gender identity and its rapidly evolving terminology bring up a lot of questions about LGBTQIA+ labels that seem inherently gendered, especially lesbianism. Where do non-binary people fit in? Can non-binary people identify with gendered terms, even sexualities?

The short answer: Yes. But in case you want the long answer, I’ll be breaking down the gender diversity hidden within the history of lesbianism, the origins of non-binary identities and gender non-conformity as a potential trans experience, and how all of this ties into the current existence of non-binary lesbians.

Non-binary is any gender identity that falls outside the binary experiences of…


This is a compilation of resourses I made awhile back for a close friend. I realized recently that it could help many more people, so I wanted to share it. This list is non-exhaustive, but very thorough. In the following five sections — mental health, transition resources, online community spaces, live support chatrooms, and emergency hotlines — you’ll find everything from relatable music, binding tips, helpful Youtube accounts, coming out letters, advice chatrooms, and more.

I hope this serves as a good collection to share with those who need it.

I hope that it found you when you needed it.

1. Mental Health


The way christian teachings paint the “old testament G-d” as a cold, cruel, unloving entity, as opposed to their “G-d now” who is apparently much warmer, and more forgiving, etc., is antisemitic.

I spent years in a Christian youth group that operated in a very cult-like way. They interrogated me about my jewish background, told me I can’t even entertain other religions, and said my dad would go to Hell unless he accepted Jesus on his death bed. I was 15.

The marked contrast, the motivating force behind the evangelical expectation of this group, was that this G-d, “our G-d,”…


Butch identity in context of lesbian culture has existed for a long time. The historic working-class lesbian community — and the iconic lesbian bar scene — included all modern sapphic identities. Although these spaces have dwindled since, a diverse butch community still remains. Back in the 1950s, 60s, and beyond, lesbian spaces had almost no men around. this created a separate world of people and relationships, giving way to an entirely new system of “gender,” of the ways they related to one another. Butches were those who took on a more masculine role. …


The consensus on what “straight passing” is varies quite a bit, but it typically makes an effort to explain how certain individuals and couples appear straight in the world and due to this, may gain certain privileges. On the surface, it seems like a useful term. If a bisexual woman and a pansexual man want to adopt children, they might not experience the same obstacle as a lesbian couple due to their genders. However, even in that hypothetical, there are so many details that could affect the outcome. Are either people trans? Are they gender non-conforming?

My issue with the…


Content Warnings: Transphobia, Aphobia, and Exclusionary Rhetoric

At the height of a new internet discourse wave, its mission being to call into question the validity of every queer identity label under the sun, “Vixenamoric” was coined. It was meant to replace and/or modify the term lesbian so that they could, in essence, “find the real lesbians,” and its definition is pretty static across those who identify with it:

“Lesbians who are binary women and only use she/her pronouns, solely attracted to binary woman who only use she/her pronouns.”

The biggest takeaway there is that vixenamorics still identify with lesbianism. TERF…


Content Warnings: Transphobia, Homophobia, and Aphobia, discussion of HIV/AIDS and death, suicide, abusive families, and United States discriminatory policy.

Has time ever felt differently for you as a queer person? Maybe you’re experiencing typical “adolescent milestones” as a young adult through your first love. Maybe you feel reborn again now that you’re out, even at 45.

Let’s talk about “Queer Time.”

First, what is Heterotemporality? This is defined by the time-based needs of the diversity of human life, the way we are all aligned in relation to one another through events, developments, and stages on a consistent model of the…


I bought my first Juul in late September of 2018. I’d tried it before when offered at house parties or the college bars in town, sometimes even from close friends. It was normalized in my mind to the point where I truly thought I should get one for myself. Half of everyone I knew had one, and I was practically leeching off my best friend’s Juul anyway, so I caved. I went to a store downtown and bought the starter pack: a variety of pod flavors, a tiny USB charger, and of course, the Juul itself. …


Content warning: Self-harm and ableism.

Conjure up, in your mind, what a stereotypical “crazy” person looks and acts like. You probably picture someone talking to themselves, maybe scratching their skin, looking unclean or tired, rocking back and forth, etc. I know, for me, a dozen horror movie characters come to mind.

I remember when every October, my friends and I would scout out the very best haunted houses, always coming across the haunted “insane asylum” online. I’ll let you guess what the commercial video was like and how the “patients” acted. These portrayals are perceived by the public, at least…

Jules Rylan

Fat, ashkenazi Jewish, non-binary butch lesbian writing about queer history, the Jewish experience, fat liberation, and anything else that crosses my mind.

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